no, this isn’t an april fools joke. i have been side parting since college, and the time has come that i reunite with my high school middle part.
having babies took a toll on my hair. forget the way the back of my hair now gets nasty kinky curls when it’s wet (yes, just the back. it’s the dumbest thing.) i’ve come to begrudgingly accept these weird wispy baby hairs on my temples that look like bat ears, and the fact that they will probably never grow out. the side part just put them on major display, and i am tired of giving them a spotlight.
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| photo brought to you by tripod and self timer |
for instance, you might think you love christmas before you have kids. you might think it can’t get any better than BEING a kid at christmas. but buddy, you are WRONG. having a kid at christmas is the best thing in the entire world. it’s just... magical.
Easter is no exception... it has always been a special holiday for me. but with kids, it’s like on another level. you put yourself in Jesus’ sandals and there is no doubt you’d make the same choice to save YOUR children. it’s overwhelming to imagine that someone LITERALLY DIED FOR ME. not just me, but every single person that has ever lived and that will continue to be born in this world. Jesus sacrificed the ultimate sacrifice... his LIFE, so that we could live free from our sins. it takes my breath away to think about it.
from the moment i woke up, today was hard.
my mom texted, and i told her i was sad. i know she’s sad too. i get a pit in my stomach thinking about a holiday when my kids aren’t with me.
i had to clean up my eye makeup a dozen times before we even left for church.
once we got there, they announced that there were so baptisms. three kids. i can’t help myself but to get emotional during baptisms. especially kids. i was young myself when i found myself saved and baptized. i can still remember the feeling that came over me when i accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior.
today, the youth minister was doing the baptisms and the last one was his daughter. he was so choked up, and he basically said that there was nothing better than seeing your child love and accept Christ. i have so much hope and excitement for the day Presley and Eli find themselves there. i pray about it everyday. -side note. a couple years ago my nephew jayden was saved at church camp. a few months prior i had been praying for my sisters family to find a church and God answered my prayers by not only finding them a church, but jayden got connected and he found God. i cried like a baby when i heard the news, so i can only imagine the emotions i’ll feel when it’s my babies turn.
anyway, back to the baptism. spoiler alert. i cried. the whole time.
the message was so good. we have been doing a series on the parables so our preacher tied in the parable of the lost son to the easter message, and it was powerful... i cried.
then at the end, we sang old rugged cross. and i cried some more. my dad always said it’s not easter unless you sing old rugged cross at church. 😂
usually after church we would head to my grandmas house to eat roast or whatever she had cooking. i had intentions of cooking a roast today, but never made it to the store. instead, we ate at the diner we eat at every other sunday. i’d give anything for grandmas cookin right now. anything. honestly i’d give anything to be in the same state as my grandma, or anyone in my family, right now.
after lunch we came home and put the kids down for a nap, and i came upstairs to cry.
i know i shouldn’t be so down about anything. and please don’t mistake this as being ungrateful for the abundance of blessings i have. i just miss my family, both our families.
i do know that God has us right where he wants us, but even still, He doesn’t always make things easy. He gives us more than we can handle because we aren’t meant to handle it alone. He is my strength.
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